Soon your ___________________________________ will be returned to
society. Because of the once close relationship, he will be released into your
care. Though he has greatly benefited from prison therapy, he nevertheless will
need much support on your part to help him transform into a productive, normal citizen.
We provide the below information to aid you in your task of transforming our CLUB FED graduate. The modification of old habits is a slow process; DRASTIC CHANGES CAUSE ANXJETY. Kindness, understanding, and patient are essential.
a small bathroom with cot, small steel locker, small steel desk with small,
steel shelf above it, and one large box under cot marked on the outside
Legal Papers. The door will have a window slit of 6 inches by 2 feet and be of solid wood.
2. For the first few weeks
he will drop whatever he is doing at 3:45 PM and head to his cell. At 3:50 yell, Standup count! and at 4:05, Count
clear! Repeat the same routine at 8:45 PM, and 11:15 PM. At the 11:15 count, lock him into his room. Averaging once
in 3 counts, yell Repeat Count, count not cleared, and take an extra 5 minutes.
lights on at 5:15 AM, but do not unlock his room until 5:45 AM.
4. Have in living room
a small mailbox nailed to the wall. Check the outgoing mail nightly to be sure
its contents are appropriate, than seal letters.
5. When mail comes for
your felon, slice open across the top the envelope, read, then
staple it all together. At 4:30, yell mail call! Wait a couple of minutes then call out his name, and give him his mail.
walk through the house jingling a bunch of keys. Other times yell monosyllabic
words in a threatening tone, slam dominoes on table, slam chair on floor, and like.
7. No metal, ceramic,
or glass, only plastic utensils, cups, etc. Serve cafeteria style. Give only one portion. If he tries taking a second portion,
SCREAM, Only one. Put it back!!!!
Then give him a long hard stare.
8. Serve powdered, scrambled
eggs for half of the breakfasts, the other half is Cream of Wheat; for lunch alternate between bologna, macaroni, hot dogs,
and hamburgers; for dinner bake all meat dishes in 6 inches of water. Be sure
to use the maximum amount of cheapest oil in preparing all dishes.
the dining area, when you bring him food, he will give you in exchange either stamps or cigarettes. Accept them.
10. Post by phone sign that
All calls are monitored. Give him Approval Form on which he is to list the name,
address, and number of each whom he will be calling.
11. Warn those on list that
he will be calling collect.
him a special combination by Master Locks which can also be opened by a master key.
13. Your Club Fed graduate is
likely to hide markers, tape, glue, Whiteout, scissors, shank in his room. Periodically
search his cell and divest him of those items that cant be bought at the commissary.
During the search check for surplus bedding, clothes, and reading material and remove surplus: the limit is 5 books,
5 magazines, 2 newspapers, 3 shirts, 3 pants, 5 socks, 5 briefs, 2 sweat pants, 2 sweat shirts, and 2 gym shorts. No colors; only gray or tan or white.
14. Dont be surprised if prior
to leaving the house, he hands you his drivers license. Ask him where he is going,
& either fill out a 3by3 pass form, or give him a 3by5 laminated card marked recreation pass, unit 2-B. When he returns, demand the pass be turned in. If he doesnt
have it, fill out form labeled Incident Report.
15. Keep entry doors locked
until move. Five minutes before the hour yell, Ten minute active move. At 5 minutes after the hour yell, Moves over, then lock the entry
16. When taking your dear out to the library, explain that he is not to cut pictures from books
or magazines, speak with a stentorian voice, or palm the librarians tape, glue, etc.
17. Always take him to
the same supermarket on the same day of the week, and at its busiest time. Rehearse
the procedure below with the store clerks.
18. Beforehand, arrange with
clerk to accept list of items, which he is to fill. No items may be bought that
are in a can, a glass jar, or has a metal lid. The clerk is to adamantly refuse
to add new items or to substitute for outof-stock items.
returning from a visit, your felon will expect to be stripped search. Be sure
to search carefully his clothes, and to tell him to, Lift your nut sack and spread them.
20. When your felon goes out,
make sure he doesnt wear a coat with a slit in its lining. When out with him,
pay attention to the way he eyes liftable restricted items.
21. In the late afternoon or
when returning home, your felon will place a flimsy folding chair in front of the television, then drape his shirt over its
back. Dont touch the shirt!
22. Your felon watches only
splatter films and sports. If you manage to get the channel changer from
him, select the same.
23. If perchance, he finds you
watching Public Broadcasting or the Arts and Entertainment Network, there is, even if you change the station, a 93% chance
that he will grumble epithets such as: For faggots! Sucks! Asshole! In your mouth! And there is a 7% chance he will simply
flex his muscles, glare, and grab the channel changer.
24. If you are wishing sexual
delight, put on mens clothing, then say in a gruff voice, Let us take a shower, now.
25. In the shower he will expect you to submit to both oral and anal
sex. Fortunately, he will be quick
never looked for employment, he will expect to be handed a job assignment.
27. Your felon believes that
all employees pocket items, charge extra for deluxe service, and also for certain extra work. Collectively this is
known as the hustle.
28. Based upon his prison work
experience, steer him to jobs that require mere presence, such as directing traffic at a roadconstruction site.
29. You should accompany your
felon on trips to government offices, just to show him that it isnt a waste of time.
For years he had been told by staff in prison: (a) too busy, come back tomorrow (the day Mr.-So-And-So is off); (b)
it is Mr. SoAndSos task; (c) were out of forms; (d) I dont know the answer, Ill find out next week; (e) cant because
of regulations; (f) my office is up stair, where the form are; see me there (hes rarely there).
30, Much worse than the staff are the guards. Thus he will naturally
avoid encountering those wearing a uniformstimulus generalization.
31. Dont feed him beans. Warn others who are indoors with him, that has developed, because there were no unoccupied
spaces, the habit of easenthemout.
32. You may politely make suggestion,
but never order or angrily take offenseexcept when acting the role of a guard. Any
confrontation by an equal will be considered a matter of honor, for which the resolution often is bloody.
33. He lived in a bathroom,
thus he will enter it when occupied; even use the shitter while others are washing up.
Warn others to expect and accept this.
34 He will resist the suggestion of continuing his education or vocational
training because he believes that next to nothing will be taught and the class will be baby-sat by a former student.
But if you offer schooling as a substitute for work, he will take it.
we learn through socialization, and his has been the federal gladiator school. Their
customs are quite different. He will consider his customs more valid than yours. Each society holds on to its traditions, and members seek out likes.
36. His companions will be those
shaped by like experiences, not his old friends. Thus he will bring home a group
of seedy, foul-mouthed criminals.
37. Dont expect civility;
it is offensive to gladiators. There is an aversion for weakness, civility, and
femininity, for they have consistently been negatively reinforced by the prison population.
Be strong and tough, like him. Dont expect romantic signs, such as roses,
curtseys, hugs and kisses. The cause for the high failure rate of renewed relationships
is the failure of the wife to adapt.
38. Change will come
gradually over years, but never completely. You must adapt and endure; better
yet, act like him.
as every simpleton knows: Chain a dog to a tree and you make him vicious. Now that your dear has been freed to
live with you, good luck.